I am delighted to report our most successful year ever. We made more progress to achieving our twin goals of increasing our losses and building up our levels of debt than ever before. Indeed, I am especially proud to be able to announce that in just two years we will be able to borrow more than all the previous managements of UK PLC and its predecessor companies over 1000 years. I think you will agree with me that this is […]
Tag Archives: humour
An explanation of the financial crisis for everyone: Linda is the proprietor of a bar in Cork. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers (still mostly unemployed alcoholics) flood into Linda’s bar. Taking advantage of […]
The Guardian reports on the poster sweeping the nation in these difficult times: Nowadays, of course, it would be farmed out to an expensive communications agency. Back in the spring of 1939, it was an anonymous civil servant who was entrusted with finding the slogan for a propaganda poster intended to comfort and inspire the populace should, heaven forbid, the massed armies of Nazi Germany ever cross the Channel. This was the third in a series. The first, designed to […]
Everyone expects release later this year. A leaked briefing paper for OEM vendors suggests that the date when buyers of Windows Vista machines qualify for a free upgrade begins “for planning purposes” on July 1, 2009. via First Windows 7 beta puts fresh face on Vista • The Register. Hold me back!
From the Times Online: Rick Wagoner, the chief executive of General Motors, today expressed remorse for asking for a $18 billion hand-out from Washington but warned that without immediate assistance the car maker would run out of money by Christmas. And from my spam filter: read more | digg story
As Gordon Brown condemns free markets and therefore by extension freedom itself, I learn of Alistair Darling’s early days as the ‘bearded Trot’ who ‘wanted to nationalise the banks’. Despite having read Boris Johnson’s cheering Have I Got Views for You, I feel the only solution is to throw myself from an aeroplane repeatedly tomorrow, two and a half miles above the Spanish plains, and hope for the best. We can turn this around, but it’s going to take some […]
The root cause of the credit crunch (video) Where’s an icepick when you need one? The Big Lie This Morning Labour to Implement 1983 Manifesto Pledges So, They’ve Finally Achieved Their 1983 Election Manifesto Exclusive to Rob’s Blog: Gordon Brown to Guarantee Everything FTSE crashes — I hope you’ve learnt your lesson Another job for the superhero UK Taxpayer? Gordon’s £300 Billion Guarantee : £50 Billion Tier 1 Capital + £200 Billion Inter-Bank Guarantee + £50 Billion Northern Rock Pesto-Wire Causes […]